I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I look better un-naked...
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Randomize
