good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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