dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
it's like heaven, but drunker
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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