he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
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It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
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I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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