You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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