Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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