similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
