They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
