I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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