so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
