just come out here and I will go home with you...
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
