At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
