dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
