is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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