operation harelip BJ is a go
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
