Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(504): View more from Louisiana

He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl

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(906): View more from Michigan

last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that

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(240): View more from Maryland

She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Apparently senior citizens don't like that position

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(917): View more from New York City

My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question

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(804): View more from Virginia

well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.

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(425): View more from Washington

with great strapon comes great responsibility.

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(810): View more from Michigan

Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.

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