Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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