Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
