How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
