Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
