Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
