at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize