My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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