found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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