Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
