sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
