grandma shit on top of the toilet
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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