Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
time to smoke my breakfast
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize