That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
