I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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