so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
