i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
