At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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