But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
