i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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