We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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