You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
She made me pour olive oil on her.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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