You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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