he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
