so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
