I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
