12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm getting married
To pizza
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
