oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
smell my finger.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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