Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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