I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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