Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
