I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
