do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
