Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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