I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
