Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
