he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
