He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
