I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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